How I Stopped Measuring My Life by Timelines and Started Trusting God’s Plan

For some women, birthdays are a time for joy, reflection, and gratitude. But for me, they often felt like a reminder of everything I hadn’t achieved. Another year passed, and the weight of expectations—both mine and those I imagined from others—felt heavier with each candle blown out. Though I had accomplishments to celebrate and outward success to show for it, deep down, there was an internal battle raging. Each birthday became a milestone of self-doubt, leaving me wondering: Am I where I’m supposed to be?

Confession #1: The Battle of Feeling “Behind”
In my late twenties, the pressure only grew as my birthdays loomed closer. The voice of defeat was relentless: You’re running out of time. As a magazine publisher, I imagined the life I should be living—attending glamorous events, traveling the world, and enjoying the financial success that I thought should come with the title. But instead, I found myself struggling. I wasn’t doing any of those things. And the contrast between where I was and where I thought I should be left me feeling defeated. I wondered: Was I ever going to see God’s promises fulfilled in my life, or was I simply aging without anything to show for it?

Scripture Reflection:
“The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me; Your love, O Lord, endures forever—do not abandon the works of Your hands.” – Psalm 138:8
When I felt discouraged and questioned my progress, this scripture reminded me that God is faithful to finish what He started in me, even when I can’t see the full picture.

Confession #2: Redefining Success
I was stuck in a cycle of measuring success by external markers—phone calls, a large office, a growing bank account. One year, deep in prayer and frustration, I felt God gently remind me, Your success isn’t defined by what you’ve collected, but by what you’ve completed in Me. That moment was pivotal. I realized that success wasn’t about the things I thought I should have. Instead, I needed to ask: Am I being faithful to the assignment God has given me in this season? When I shifted my focus to spiritual obedience, I began to find peace. Success was no longer about external markers—it was about my alignment with God’s will. After all, it was God who gave me the vision.

Scripture Reflection:
“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” – Matthew 6:33
This verse reminded me to focus on God’s kingdom, trusting that He will provide everything I need when I put Him first. True success is about spiritual alignment, not worldly accomplishments.

Confession #3: Surrendering My Self-Imposed Timeline
I had always created a timeline in my head—a checklist of milestones I wanted to achieve by a certain age. I longed for the feeling of arrival—a thriving business, financial freedom, and the satisfaction of knowing I’d made it. But God reminded me that detours are part of the journey. I needed to release my grip on my self-imposed timeline and trust that His timing was better than mine. Delays, I learned, do not equate to denial. God’s pace wasn’t punishment; it was preparation. Even when the fruit of my labor wasn’t visible, I had to trust that He was working behind the scenes.

Scripture Reflection:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11
This scripture brought me peace, reminding me that God’s plans for me are good, and His timing is perfect—even when I don’t understand it.

Confession #4: Stopping the Comparison Game
The most damaging thing I did was compare my behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel. Scrolling through social media, I saw women living what seemed like perfect lives—attending high-profile events, traveling the world, and celebrating big wins. I started to believe I was falling behind. But one day, a truth broke through the noise: You don’t know what they’re carrying—you only see what they’re posting. That moment shifted everything for me. I stopped measuring my progress against theirs. Instead of striving to keep up with everyone else, I began striving to grow. I chose to compete with who I was yesterday—not with anyone else.

Scripture Reflection:
“We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.” – 2 Corinthians 10:12
This scripture taught me to focus on my own journey and stop comparing myself to others. The only standard I need is the one God has set for me.

A Word for You:
If you’ve ever felt anxious about another birthday, overwhelmed by the idea of “not being there yet,” I see you. I was once where you are. But let me speak this truth over you today:
You are not behind. You are in God’s perfect timing.
You are not forgotten. Heaven is still working on your behalf.
You are not alone. Many of us have wrestled with the weight of “not yet.”

Here’s what I’ve learned and now live by:

Redefine success. Faithfulness is success. Obedience is success. Peace is success.
Release the clock. God is not bound by time—He created it.
Celebrate your steps. Even small steps matter when they’re directed by God.
Choose gratitude. It’s the lens that lets you see blessings, even in waiting seasons.
Stay in your lane. Your race, your pace. God’s plan for you is tailor-made.

I no longer dread my birthdays. I welcome them—not because everything is perfect, but because I’m still becoming. Still healing. Still growing. Still showing up. And that, sis, is something worth celebrating.

So from one woman to another: You don’t need to have “made it” to rejoice. You just need to be becoming. And you are.

Prayer for the Woman Who Feels Behind

Heavenly Father,
Thank You for the reminder that You are with us in every season of life. I pray for the woman reading this, feeling the weight of comparison, the pressure of timelines, and the voice of defeat whispering in her ear. Lord, help her to release the burden of “not yet” and trust in Your perfect timing.

Strengthen her to embrace the journey You have laid out for her, to celebrate the small wins, and to redefine success according to Your will. Fill her heart with peace, knowing that she is never behind but perfectly aligned with Your plans. Remind her that she is not forgotten, and that every step is part of Your divine purpose.

Lord, I pray that she feels Your presence in every moment, and that her heart finds joy in becoming, even in the waiting. May she be filled with gratitude, faith, and confidence that You are working behind the scenes to fulfill Your promises in her life.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.