The Invaluable Lessons She Learned From a Relationship That Nearly Cost Her Life
As I settled into the familiar embrace of my office chair to check emails, a name in my inbox caught my attention. The response to my questions had finally arrived from Lady Indea, a woman on a mission to transform the lives of women around the world. As I opened the email and began reading her response, I was swept up in the profound story of resilience, faith, and redemption that unfolded.
Lady Indea is not just a woman of destiny, she’s a force of nature. A fierce advocate for women and a warrior against gender-based violence, Indea is currently expanding her brand to champion sustainable and eco-friendly practices. She has her sights set on creating an anti-slavery and human trafficking policy within her brand. But she isn’t just a crusader; she’s also co-authored a book titled “Faith for Fiery Trials Vol IV: From the Valley to Victory with Mountain Moving Faith.”
As our interview unfolded via email, Indea revealed a haunting chapter from her past, detailing a painful mistake she made in her mid-twenties. She had found herself entrapped in a relationship with a man 14 years her senior, a relationship that brought her to the brink of death, subjected to physical, emotional, and verbal abuse and cyberstalking.
In one of my questions, I asked her about the role of her faith in her healing process, and she confessed: “I had to surrender my healing process to God. That was not easy as I blamed myself for what had happened. I had a lot of anger, guilt, shame, sorrow, and tears.” But it was her unwavering faith that allowed her to emerge victorious. She found within herself the strength to forgive her abuser and, more importantly, forgive herself.
Drawing from her Christian beliefs, Indea learned a powerful lesson about love and relationships: “The lesson I learned about love and relationships through this experience is that I failed to put God first. Relationships do not produce abuse but instead should produce the fruit of the spirit: love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Any relationship not ordained by God will produce bad fruit,” she writes.
Indea’s faith was her lifeline during this tumultuous time. She relied on prayer, sought God’s guidance daily, and developed a safety plan, a strategy she recommends to anyone in an abusive relationship: “Victims of domestic violence need to have a safety plan to optimize their safety as violence can escalate. You cannot control the abuser’s behavior, but you have the power to control your safety.”
One transformative moment stood out as she recalled an experience where she felt the presence of God during her healing journey. She was journaling, listening to a song by Dorinda Clark-Cole, “I’m Still Here”, when she broke down, releasing all her pent-up emotions. She felt an overwhelming sense of peace, as though God was whispering, “Woman thou art loosed. Be healed. Be restored.”
When asked about how she learned to trust in God’s plan for her life, even when it didn’t align with her own desires or expectations, Indea admitted, “That can be hard because the flesh wants to do what it wants to do. Yet, if I wanted to stop bouncing around, I had to learn to trust a God that I could not physically see. Trusting God meant trusting him to be the perfect matchmaker for any future relationship.”
Indea’s faith journey culminated in the realization that she is “a courageous woman who came face to face with pure evil but through faith was able to grow and survive it.” She sees herself as a survivor, a lioness, and a woman of God. Her faith has taught her that love is coming and to love herself always.
Indea believes that sharing her story can serve as a beacon of hope for Christian women struggling with similar mistakes or challenges in their relationships. She encourages women to remember that God is always by their side, even in times of heartache, and to trust in His plan for their lives.
Reflecting on her journey, Indea advises: “Always keep your senses open. The red flags are always in your sight. Boundaries are important. Never allow someone to manipulate or guilt trip you into believing that you are not practicing Christian forgiveness by not reconciling the relationship. More importantly, it is important to acknowledge that the abuse is not your fault.”
Her message to others is clear: Never rush into a relationship not ordained by God. Put God first, trust His plan, and be confident in who you are. Self-respect is better than disrespect. Refuse to settle because man’s best is not God’s best.
Lady Indea’s journey is a testament to the power of faith, forgiveness, and self-love. Her story is a beacon of light for all who find themselves in dark times, a reminder that with faith, courage, and God’s love, it’s possible to transform the ashes of our past into the beauty of our future.
