I Wasn’t Supposed to Live—But God Had Other Plans
I was born on January 1, 1968, with my feet turned backwards—a physical reminder of a drug that changed the course of thousands of lives. That drug was Thalidomide.
Thalidomide was first introduced in the 1950s and early 60s to help pregnant women with morning sickness. It was affordable, available without prescription, and heavily distributed—even to doctors in the United States, despite not being approved by the FDA. My mother was one of the women given a sample at a clinic when she was struggling with severe nausea during pregnancy.
No one could’ve imagined the impact that small pill would have on the rest of my life.
Doctors told my parents I wouldn’t live long. And if I did, I’d never walk. But my parents didn’t give up on me—and neither did God. They took me to Le Bonheur Children’s Hospital where, by the grace of God, the doctors were able to turn my feet forward. But that was just the beginning of a long journey.
I didn’t have a typical childhood. Hospitals became my second home. I didn’t attend public school because I was constantly undergoing major surgeries—24 total. I went from a scooter, to a wheelchair, to braces and crutches. I spent most of my childhood at Crippled Children’s Hospital School, which cared for children with serious birth defects at no cost to their families. The nurses became part of my life—feeding us, wheeling us to breakfast, and getting us ready for the day.
Our schoolroom looked like a replica of the White House. It was there I learned, lived, and prepared for each transition—from recovery to surgery, and back again. When I entered sixth grade, I had my final surgery. I was still using crutches and braces until one year later, when the doctors released me. For the first time, I could walk on my own.
I’m now 57 years old. I walk, but I can’t bend my legs. I have to use my hands to lift myself off my bed and couch. Thalidomide stunted my growth—I’m 4 feet tall, with short legs and long arms. I have all my fingers, but only nine toes. My heart was also affected. One valve closed up and required emergency surgery. Another murmur remains, but by God’s grace, it hasn’t caused problems.
I’ve faced more than physical pain. I’ve lived through abuse, rejection, abandonment, and manipulation. I searched for love in all the wrong places. But every time I was knocked down, God picked me back up.
I’m not just a survivor—I’m an overcomer.
Everything I’ve endured has taught me to lean on God in ways I never could’ve imagined. He gave me strength to walk when doctors said I never would. He gave me peace when the pain overwhelmed me. And He gave me a voice to tell my story—not for pity, but to testify of His power.
I pray Thalidomide is never again used to harm others, even though it’s still out there today treating cancer. My hope is that my story reminds others that even in a broken world, God is still sovereign.
I wasn’t supposed to live. But I did.
I wasn’t supposed to walk. But I do.
And every day I stand is proof—God still performs miracles.
Jacqueline is a watchman, intercessor, Podcast host and author. She is called to dedicate her life to God. She has been featured in Canvas Rebel Magazine. She is a woman who has overcome obstacles and hardships. She have not only survived she became an overcomer.
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