I Didn’t Know How to Ask for Help—So I Did Everything Myself
For years, I was the woman who did it all. The go-to. The strong one. The woman who could manage her home, involved in ministry, grow a brand, and keep smiling while doing it. Not because I didn’t want help—but because I honestly didn’t know how to ask for it.
I got used to handling everything on my own, even when I prayed for someone to show up. In my mind, I thought it was just me and God. He gave me the assignment, so maybe He would give me the supernatural capacity to carry it all without assistance.
The more I carried, the quieter I became. I didn’t know what I needed. I just knew I was overwhelmed. And when I did try to let people in, it often made things harder. People would come alongside me with promises of support—some with more knowledge, some who talked a good talk—but almost every time, they disappeared. Or they’d leave me to clean up after their “help.”
That kind of disappointment made me retreat further. It made me believe that maybe I really was supposed to do this alone. So I asked God to give me the strength, and I did the work—burning out quietly behind the scenes.
Breaking Down in Silence
There wasn’t just one breaking point—there were several.
But the final one came when I realized I no longer had joy in what I was doing. I had lost the why behind the work God had entrusted to me. I couldn’t focus. I couldn’t create. For months, the publication I poured everything into felt stuck. And so did I.
I found myself working more for God than spending time with Him. And that imbalance? It eventually caught up with me. The momentum that once fueled my vision came to a complete standstill.
So I prayed. I asked God why things weren’t growing like they used to. I pleaded for direction.
That’s when God began answering me—not just through scripture, but through the voices of other women. During a series of interviews, I noticed a pattern: nearly every woman I spoke to had a similar story. They had done it all on their own. They had hit burnout. And they had to learn to stop trying to be everything in order to become who God had truly called them to be.
Each one of them said the same thing in different ways: “When I started seeking God more than the work, and I opened my heart to receive help, things shifted. God sent the right people, and I learned how to embrace support without guilt.”
That conversation lit something in me. Because the truth is—I had been praying for help, but I hadn’t made room for it. My heart was closed. My spirit was guarded. I wanted help, but I also wanted someone to just know what I needed and how I needed it done.
But what God revealed to me was this: there was a season where I needed to build on my own. But it was never meant to last forever.
Recognizing the Shift
Sometimes, God will allow you to carry something alone—not to punish you, but to prepare you.
That season taught me to appreciate what I was building. But it also revealed my limits. And it was through seeking Him—not just for solutions, but for presence—that He showed me it was time to shift.
He brought me back to Matthew 6:33:
“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”
The “things” I was praying for—growth, strategy, help—they would be added. Not forced. Not chased. But released into my life as I aligned with Him.
God didn’t want me to grind harder—He wanted me to trust deeper.
And part of that trust meant opening up. Delegating. Learning to speak up before I broke down.
What I’d Tell Any Woman Reading This
If you’re in that same space—quietly burning out while doing all the things—I want you to hear this from someone who’s lived it:
Know the season you’re in.
There may be a time when you’ll need to lay the foundation alone. That’s your building season. But when it’s time to shift, don’t ignore the signs. God will let you know when it’s time to delegate, release, and allow others in.
But here’s the key: you have to be able to receive the help when it comes. That means your heart must be conditioned for connection—not just control.
Moving Forward: A New Kind of Strength
Today, I still believe in excellence. I still show up. But I no longer wear “doing it all” like a badge of honor. I’ve learned that true strength is found not just in holding it together, but in knowing when to release, rest, and receive.
If you’re the strong one—the hyper-independent one—hear me:
You don’t have to know exactly what to ask for.
You just need to be willing to let God show you.
And when He sends the right people, don’t shut the door. Open your heart.
Because the same God who gave you the vision has already prepared the provision.
You won’t miss what’s for you, but you can delay it by refusing to share the weight.
Know this: You are still powerful when you ask. You are still chosen when you pause. And you are still her—even when you let someone else help carry the load.
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