Daysha Wilson: Navigating Through a Failed Engagement and Finding Healing
It’s a relaxed, sunny Tuesday afternoon, and I’m on a phone call with Daysha Wilson. A vibrant woman, Daysha is 30 years old and hails from Chester, Pennsylvania, but was raised in Claymont, Delaware. She is a proud alumnus of Delaware State University, where she earned her degree in business management, minored in marketing, and later completed her MBA in 2018. Daysha has been working in the Technology industry for over six years. She is also the host of a faith-based podcast called Women of Faith Podcast, which she started to encourage women and men of faith.
We are discussing the topic of love and the valuable lessons that can be learned from it. Over our conversation, Daysha opened up about her journey through a failed engagement, her healing process, and ultimately finding the confident and healed version of herself.
Daysha met her former partner through a cousin for a fitness photo shoot. Their shared passion for fitness was a common thread that drew them together and led to a romantic relationship. After dating for two years, in November 2020, he proposed, and she said yes, marking the start of their journey as an engaged couple.
When asked about the initial signs that made her believe she had found ‘the one,’ Daysha’s voice softened. She said, “I think the fact that he was a man of God. He basically had shown me that and I had never really met a man that I liked that was a man of God.” However, her journey to the altar wasn’t devoid of doubts. She candidly admitted that she had reservations about their relationship and even questioned her decision to say yes when he proposed.
Their engagement came as a surprise, albeit a pleasant one. Daysha had always been clear about her intentions to marry, and her partner shared the same sentiment. However, she acknowledged overlooking some red flags during their relationship and engagement due to her lack of experience in serious relationships.
As we delved deeper into her relationship, Daysha spoke about the pressures their engagement placed on them. The expectations of securing their careers, managing finances, finding a home, and planning a wedding amidst a pandemic were challenging. Yet, these pressures did nothing to quell the shock and devastation she felt when she realized their engagement wasn’t going to work out. She envisioned a future with her partner, and accepting that he wasn’t part of it was a hard pill to swallow.
Daysha’s voice steadied as she shared her healing process. “I did feel like I had found that person and for me to have to accept that this is a person that I had to remove from my life completely, it was very hard for me,” she confessed. However, with time, therapy, and counsel, she realized that moving forward with the engagement would have made her miserable.
In her journey towards healing, Daysha sought support from her friends, family, and professionals. Their guidance helped her navigate through the toxic relationship she found herself in. She also advised other women who might find themselves in a similar situation to draw near to Christ and surround themselves with truth-tellers who can provide support.
When asked about the final straw in her relationship, Daysha recalled the painful experience of her ex-fiance cheating on her two weeks before their wedding. Despite his betrayal, she gave him an opportunity to confess, but he continued to lie and manipulate her. She finally accepted that he wouldn’t change and mustered the courage to end the relationship.
Daysha shared some important lessons she learned from her experience. She emphasized the importance of evaluating a partner’s actions, not just words, and not rushing into a marriage because of societal pressures. “I learned that just because someone claims to be a Christian and attends church regularly, it doesn’t necessarily mean they truly have a relationship with Christ. Looking back, I realize that I should have paid attention to the evidence of his actions, because if I had, I would have known that he didn’t truly know God. I would have recognized that he was not sent by God.”
Despite her bitter experience, Daysha has embraced positive changes in her life. She has drawn nearer to Christ and unapologetically pursued her purpose. “I’ve unapologetically embraced the things that I know that God wants me to do,” she says. Daysha also stressed the importance of self-care and shared her love for the gym and shopping. “As women, we often tend to focus on pleasing everyone around us, neglecting our own needs,” says Daysha. She continues, “However, we cannot give from an empty cup. It is important that we take the time to pour into ourselves, whatever that may entail. Whether it’s indulging in self-care, spending time in solitude, or connecting with our spirituality, we must prioritize taking care of ourselves. It’s not selfish; it’s crucial for our well-being.”
Concluding her story, Daysha advised readers to seek godly counsel in their relationships and never return to toxic situations unless God permits them to. She also encouraged them to listen to their intuition and not silence their feelings. Drawing from her experience, she shared a heartfelt message, “When God delivers you from something, don’t go back to it.”
When asked what song would describe her life right now, Daysha paused, her voice choked with emotion, and said, “Goodness of God.” This statement encapsulates her journey – a testament to her unwavering faith and resilience amidst trials and tribulations.
