Confessions of a Hyper-Independent Purpose-Driven Woman
For the longest time, I thought strength meant self-sufficiency. I was that woman—the one who didn’t just wear the cape, she stitched it herself. I ran the household, served in ministry, built a brand from the ground up, and did it all with a smile that masked the exhaustion behind my eyes. Not because I didn’t want help… but because I didn’t know how to ask for it. I didn’t even know what I needed—only that it felt like everything was on me.
I’d pray for help but still handle it all. In my mind, it was me and God—no room, no margin, no trust left for anyone else. I figured, If He gave me the assignment, maybe He also expects me to carry the weight solo. So I did.
Until the weight started breaking me.
When Help Feels Like a Letdown
I tried letting people in. I really did. But help would show up, then disappear. Or worse, it would come wrapped in chaos—leaving me to fix the very thing I didn’t have time to break. That kind of disappointment taught me to rely on one person: me. I convinced myself it was safer that way.
So I became a master of silence and self-containment. And the more I carried, the less I shared. I didn’t have the energy to explain what I needed—and honestly, I didn’t think anyone could be consistent enough to show up the way I needed them to.
So I kept doing the work. And slowly, I burned out—in private.
When the Strong One Starts to Crumble
It wasn’t one breakdown. It was several. Quiet ones. Invisible ones. The kind you keep pushing through because people are counting on you. But the final one came when I realized I didn’t have joy anymore. The work I once felt called to became heavy. I stopped creating. I stopped dreaming. I stopped hearing clearly from God.
I wasn’t spending time with Him—I was just working for Him.
And that imbalance? It drained me. The momentum that used to fuel me vanished.
So I finally prayed—not just for direction, but for clarity. And God started answering… through the voices of other women. Women like me. Hyper-independent. Burned out. Tired of being the solution to everyone else’s problems while silently drowning in their own.
And they said the same thing in different ways: “When I stopped doing and started seeking… everything changed. When I made space for God—and for help—He sent the right people.”
A Heart Too Guarded for the Help I Asked For
That pierced me. Because I had been praying for help, but my heart wasn’t open to receive it. I wanted someone to just know what I needed. I didn’t want to have to explain it. I didn’t want to risk being let down—again.
But here’s what God showed me: there was a season where I had to build alone. But that season was never meant to be permanent.
The Shift I Didn’t See Coming
Sometimes, God allows you to carry something on your own—not to isolate you, but to shape you. That season showed me what I was capable of. But it also revealed my limits.
It reminded me of Matthew 6:33: “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”
Not forced. Not micromanaged. Added. When I realigned my focus, I realized God wasn’t asking me to carry more. He was asking me to trust more.
And part of that trust meant letting go of control… and making room for connection.
To the Woman Who Feels Like She Has to Do It All
If you’re reading this and feel like you’re barely holding it together, please hear me:
It’s okay to be strong. It’s okay to be driven. But it’s also okay to not want to carry everything by yourself anymore.
There may be a season for solo building. But when God begins to shift you, don’t resist it out of habit. Don’t let fear of disappointment rob you of your next level.
Let people in. Learn to delegate before you detonate.
Because the same God who trusted you with the vision has also prepared people to help carry it.
You won’t lose your power by asking for help. You won’t lose your anointing by pausing to breathe. You won’t lose your identity by letting someone else show up for you.
You’re still her. Even when you don’t do it all.
You’re still chosen. Even when you need help.
You’re still powerful. Especially when you finally say, “I can’t do this alone.”
And you were never meant to.
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